so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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