I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
