After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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