So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
