Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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