return my video game
I want to stick my p in your. b.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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