hotel room ftw
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
