That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
