Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
