He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
