no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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