I don't remember. Are we still dating?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
