just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
