Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
