so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
