So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize