I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
