I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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