while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
