...so i touched it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize