I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
even my farts smell like vagina
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
