Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
