Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
