She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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