left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize