it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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