she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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