; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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