You made me cry and you don't even care
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i think i have two assholes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
