Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
