it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
