David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
