why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
