woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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