Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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