i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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