it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
