I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
