i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
