Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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