I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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