Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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