He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
