I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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