I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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