I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
