The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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