We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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