she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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