It's Friday. Sex?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
