I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
