That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
