How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
