The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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