Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
