Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
