I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
