Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
