Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
