A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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