I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
