She's JV to your varsity
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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